


Christmas Leftovers

by Ec123



Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Family Feels, If there were a Christmas special this would be it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 16:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13461699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ec123/pseuds/Ec123
Summary: Sort of a part two to "Unsaid Things"- Joan and Morse go forward in their relationship cautiously.  It's Christmas and Morse is invited to dinner.





	Christmas Leftovers

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to explore Joan and Win's train of thoughts. So this is a moment to let the women have their own story.

Win sighed as she counted the plates; taking the good china out of the cupboard for its yearly showing. 

She was happy, of course- Sam was coming home for Christmas. Joan had returned – safe and sound- to her and Fred; a month or so before. Both her children would be under her roof for a proper Christmas; last year they hadn’t even celebrated with Fred at the hospital-his condition still touch and go. 

But, she was a mother to the very core and she could sense that things were off with Joan. She was too thin for one thing and even though she tried to hide it, Win could see sadness in her eyes. Her beautiful daughter with the sparkling personality and quick wit and ease to laugh wasn’t there anymore. A cautious somber Joan had been returned to her.

Win didn’t want to ask her what happened while she was gone and felt that Joan would tell her when she was ready- it was just enough to have her back. 

She knew that Joan had been witness to something terrible and that’s why she left and maybe that was all that it was now- being held hostage, blaming herself for her connection, the Gidderton boy’s death…….

Win counted out five plates and went to set them on the server. Fred had asked to invite Morse to dinner and Win had agreed. 

He was a good lad. Fred owed him his life, and so did Joan, and Win also highly suspected he had been part of the reason Joan had come back. He was always welcome in their home and Win could never thank him enough for those things, even though she would never try- he was far too bashful for that. 

Still, she had eyes in her head and could see well enough that Joan had flirted and batted her eyes before the bank incident, seen Morse’s confused looks, seen even through her own grief how he had missed her, and saw now the concerned and even loving looks Morse glanced Joan’s way. 

Even though Joan had moved to her own flat now, she had mentioned Morse to her mother (just casually that she had bumped into him outside of work and her walked her home), so again Win suspected that there was something there between them; even if neither of the two fully realized it. 

She just hoped that whatever happened that Joan would heal from whatever bothered her and that she would smile and be truly happy again.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Joan hesitated outside the door, drew in a breath and knocked and then used her old key. She never knew what to do anymore at her old house. She used to live there and now she didn’t. 

“Mum!” she called out, “I’m…..here!”.  
She didn’t even know if she could say ‘home’ again. Not that her mum or dad cared what word she used , but she felt stuck between two worlds, two Joans.

Her mum and dad would be fine, delighted and giddy even, if she moved back in, but she felt so different from who she used to be before; she couldn’t go back to the before like nothing had happened. 

She had to get out, be in new surroundings if she wanted to stay in Oxford.

“Joan!” her mother exclaimed brightly , as she stuck her head out of the dining room, “I thought we’d have a bit of tea first before we get started with everything.”

“Sure, mum.” Joan hoped her mother wouldn’t pry. She wasn’t that kind of mother, but Joan had never had so many secrets before- several bad ones that filled her with grief and shame and one actually good that she wanted to protect as long as she was able before something happened to spirit it away.

As Win put the kettle on and went into the kitchen; Joan stood in the hallway and bit her lip. 

How many times did she want to tell her mother everything, to lay her head in Win’s lap and let it all spill out like a naughty 5 year old? I was almost a mum like you, and I wanted it, and it was the only good thing to come from a bad time, but I ruined that chance too, and now it hurts so bad when I think about it………but what would I do with a child on my own…? 

“It’ll be nice having Sam home, hmm?” Win tutted.

“Yes, you know, I’ve even missed fighting with him” Joan said. Win laughed, “I never thought I’d ever miss that sound, but I do!”

She winked at Joan. Joan smiled slowly. 

“Too bad all the aunts and cousins couldn’t come” she added. 

“Yes, we used to do that , didn’t we? Well, last year wasn’t much of a Christmas and I’d rather have just us together” Win told her. 

“Dad and I did ask Morse to dinner and he said he would come.” Win glanced at Joan’s face trying her best not to be obvious.  
“That’s good, Joan nodded, “he should be here.” 

Win glanced at her again slowly, but other than a slight blush (Win thought) she didn’t give anything away. “Well then, let’s get started on those pies.” Win stood up and led the way into the kitchen.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As Joan walked back to her flat she sighed.

She didn’t mean to keep her relationship with Morse a secret; it’s just she felt so unlike herself- her old self ,that she didn’t know how to proceed. 

And she didn’t want to cause trouble for him at work. 

She had come back and practically ignored him trying to deal with it all and at least wanted to give him back his money with a clear conscience. 

She had went to his flat and told him the truth- she did love him- it was the only emotion she was sure of. He had held her and told her the same. 

Their awkward little relationship came out of that- he sometimes walked her to work or picked her up with the car after taking her father home. Sometimes they met for lunch, just to talk. 

It was slow , it was refreshing, and it made her love him even more. 

She once thought he was square, but now…it was just what she needed.

It was so different from her previous relationships- dating adolescent boys that just wanted to paw at her, suffering through Ronnie Gidderton saying flirty and inappropriate things to her, Paul Marlocks’ sexy and intense pursuit that wasn’t about her at all, and Ray?

Ray was all about sex and control- as long as she looked pretty and kept her mouth shut and did whatever he wanted in bed and out, then it was great- some relationship.

What she had with Morse was pure and full of respect and just love. They were going slow, but oh was there kissing! Her cheeks flamed as she thought of it now; gentle sweet kisses and full out passion filled ones and Morse never once pushed for more and she was kind of glad.

Not that she wouldn’t like to, but she needed to feel herself-without the old demons of Ray and guilt pounding around in her head. 

Joan sighed as she walked. She decided that she would tell her mum and dad after Christmas; if they didn’t figure it out during Christmas dinner. It’s better to be truthful and she was tired of the covering up.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Christmas Eve came and Sam came home.

Joan packed a bag and came back home once more to spend a few days while Sam was there. 

Her dad seemed to delight in his dad role reminding Sam and Joan that Father Christmas was coming. Sam and Joan winked at one another and decided to let him revel in being dad and to let mum dote on them both.

“I’m making you all wear crowns at dinner!” Sam waggled his finger at all of them, “even old stuffy Morse!” They had all laughed and Joan had hoped she hadn’t blushed. 

That night , Joan lay in her old bed. It was so strange; she was the old Joan, but she wasn’t. Mum had kept her room exactly like she had left it after she had left home that morning. 

When she had returned in early Nov., even the pink and blue dress she had been wearing during the bank robbery lay crumpled on the floor where she had ripped it off and thrown it on that terrible evening. It was stained with blood and sweat. 

When she had returned the first thing she did was put it in a bag and throw it in the trash bin at the street. Now, she shuddered in her bed remembering it.

There was a knock on the wall and Joan relaxed. It was their old ritual, her and Sam, they would always knock on the wall when they were growing up to say good night. She smiled and knocked back and was able to drift off to sleep.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Christmas morning came and went. 

There was a rush as she and Sam ran downstairs and pretended to be excited children to make their mum and dad laugh. 

There was a flurry of paper and boxes, mum made breakfast, and they all sat around talking. 

Sam and Joan helped their mother with the last of the cooking and setting the table while Fred smoked his new pipe. 

They were in the dining room putting out the finishing touches when there was a knock at the door. “Aren’t you going to get it?” asked Sam looking at Joan, “you are always so keen to!”. 

“No, you can get it.” Replied Joan sassily back.

“I’ll get it!” said Fred, exasperated. It was Morse , bearing a bottle of wine that Joan had instructed him to bring.

As Fred let him in, Win went out to wish him a Happy Christmas and take his coat.  
“What’s wrong with your face……besides the usual? “Sam asked Joan as he squinted and scrutinized her face, “it’s all red”. 

“Oh shut it!” Joan hissed at him playfully punching him in the stomach. Sam mock doubled over as Win and Fred gestured for Morse to enter the room. 

“Not today, you two!” Win gave them a look. “Morse! Happy Christmas!” Sam shook his hand and they exchanged pleasantries. Joan gave Morse a slight hug and kissed his cheek as he turned a little red but looked pleased, “Happy Christmas, Morse!”.

She squeezed his hand as she moved past to help her mum bring out all the food. “Stop acting dopey, Joan.” Sam teased as he followed her to the kitchen.  
Win smiled as her children bantered with one another.

After all these months it was the happiest sound in the world to her. 

They sat down to dinner and Win couldn’t help but notice Morse and Joan glancing at one another. Maybe it was the effect of the wine- for her or for them, but she thought she could detect a special interest there. 

Joan had been quiet since she returned, not chatty like she used to be and there was no change today. She sat listening, sometimes answering, but her carefulness was still in tact. Win did notice her smiling a lot.

Maybe I’ll ask her…….she thought. I’m not a prying mum, but if she wants to talk I want her to know I’m here for her….  
Dinner ended and they sat and talked and drank some. 

Joan came to help her clean up and said she forgot something at her flat. “Take Sam with you to go get it; I don’t want you walking alone this late.” 

“Oh mum, I’m not five!” Joan groaned. Sam started protesting from the other room about how cold it was. Fred gave him a look.

“I’ll walk Miss Thursday” Morse interjected, “I need to be getting back anyway. I’ll walk with her there and back.” Joan just looked at him and smiled.  
“Thank you, Morse” Win told him “It just makes me feel better.”  
They bundled up, Win gave Morse a bag of leftovers and kissed his cheek goodbye. They all wished Morse a happy Christmas and he and Joan left.

As they walked along, Morse reached for her hand. “Thanks for walking me” Joan said. “Of course”, Morse answered, “Was this a ploy to get me alone?” he teased. 

Joan scrunched up her face . “I hope dinner wasn’t too embarrassing” she said sympathetically. “No no, it was really great,” Morse smiled at her.

 

Joan hurried into her flat to get her hairbrush and then out the door again where Morse was waiting outside. 

They walked back in the cold huddled up together. 

Joan told him of her plan to tell her parents about seeing him. “That’s best”, he said “I feel like I’m lying everytime I go to work.” It started to snow as they walked along. “This is me” Joan said gesturing at the door as they stopped in front of the walk of the house.

They stood and looked at one another then Joan reached up and took either side of his coat labels pulling him closer. “Happy Christmas, Miss Thursday” Morse said teasingly as she pulled him to her. He leaned to kiss her soft and slow as the snow swirled around them. The wind blew her hair over their faces, and he stopped to gently brush it back from her face before kissing her again.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
“Fred, go to bed!” Win scolded. He was stretched out in the sitting room chair.

“I can’t til Joanie comes in” he yawned and drifted to sleep again. Sam gave a teasing look at his mum, “That’s our dad!” he said. 

“I’ll just give a look to see if she’s coming up the walk, it’s started to snow”, Win tutted.

“Aw, Morse is with her, she can’t be in any trouble” Sam said. Win stood up, put her knitting aside and walked down the hall to the front door window. 

She lifted the curtain a bit and peered out. She inwardly gasped as she saw her daughter beaming and Morse bending down to kiss her. 

She stared and then felt ashamed of herself for intruding on such a sweet intimate moment. She wasn’t that type of mum. 

She let the curtain drop just before witnessing Morse tenderly brushing the hair from Joan’s face.

Her heart beat in satisfaction that she had been right and that Joan looked so happy in that moment. Morse too, she must admit.

She felt very glad for them both; how right….how very right.

A mother always knows, she thought.

Win quickly hurried back into the sitting room and picked up her knitting quickly again.

“What is it , mum?” Sam asked looking quizzically at her. 

“Nothing, Joan is just coming in, no teasing her, young man” Win scolded. They heard the door open and Joan hit her boots against the door as she closed it.

“Home!” she called out absently not even thinking of the argument her mind had been putting up lately about that word.

“Your face looks strange again.” Sam said matter of factly. Win playfully hit his head with her ball of yarn. 

Joan looked as though she was coming back to reality. “Well, it is awfully cold out there” she countered back.

“Have a good time?” Win asked nonchalantly. 

“Good time? I was just getting my hairbrush”, Joan said but her eyes were smiling Win noticed.

“Come on , Sam. Let’s have a game of cards” Joan said loudly. 

Fred snorted awake, “Oh good, Joan’s home. Morse get you there and back alright?”

“Yes, dad; Morse is fine.” Joan quipped. 

Win continued to knit as her two children played a game together; she was so happy they were all together again. 

Joan laughed with her brother and bantered with her dad and seemed much like her old self as Win had seen her since she came back.

In her heart, Win silently thanked Morse and wondered if she had sent him home with enough food.


End file.
